Roger Ewing's Blog

Empowerment, everyone talks about it, but few know how to get it.

By Roger Ewing

In author Rod Serling’s 1950’s television series, The Twilight Zone, ordinary folks suddenly found themselves in extraordinary, usually supernatural, situations. The stories would typically end with an ironic twist that resulted in the guilty being rightly punished.

Mr. Serling opened each show with a brief prologue that always concluded with this line, “There’s a sign post up ahead, your next stop The Twilight Zone”.  The television show was dependent upon our hunger for drama and capitalized on our need to experience moral balance in an immoral world.  The victim was rescued, the persecutor punished and the rescuer rewarded.  Isn’t this how it is supposed to be?

Vast opportunities become available to us when we no longer accept the role of Victim or Rescuer in our human interactions.  The path to empowerment does not cross anywhere near the drama triangle.

The drama triangle (see my previous 3 part series Avoiding Drama in Business and Personal Life) is where effective communication and mature problem solving goes to die.

There’s a sign post up ahead, your next stop, Empowerment

Where then do we go to obtain this elusive Empowerment?  The answer to that question, of course, lies within each of us.  Once we have freed ouselves from the addictive nature of drama, we can make mature plans, realize our dreams and accomplish the greatest of goals.  Empowerment is a high octane fuel that will work for anyone. It will work for Mother Theresa, Ghandi, even Hitler. Empowerment, it seems, has no conscience.

The power of the three “C”s

Commitment is the promise of accomplishment not yet realized.  Great leadership to ourselves or others involves single-minded devotion to an ideal.  An uncompromising attitude of achievement, no matter what the personal cost.  Gandhi’s threat to starve himself to death if the fighting between Hindus and Muslims did not stop is a prime example of this thinking.

The power of commitment resides in each of us and can be used to accomplish our dreams and goals regardless of how great or small they may be.

Capable individuals, when committed to a course of action, will follow through with effective behavior designed to actualize the goal at hand.  Empowerment is a non-exclusive quality.  To actualize our desires we must be capable of performing the activities necessary to accomplish the goal.  For example, if free climbing a vertical rock face is your goal, you must have the necessary training and the gear to accomplish the fete.  Without it, you might be left hanging.

Cognizance involves taking responsibility for an intellectual decision.  Our decisions must be based upon knowledge, awareness and observation.  If I am having a bad day and I determine the only solution available to me is to jump off the nearest bridge, I am not making an intellectually correct decision.

Sounds simple, what’s the catch?  To be empowered we must possess all of the three “C”s, every last one of them.  Missing only one will deprive us the power we need to succeed.

Commitment, Capability and Cognizance work together to make self actualization a real result.

Without one ingredient, the system will collapse.

Welcome to the land of Empowerment.

Copyright © by Roger Patrick Ewing, all rights reserved.

This Storm Was Written In Darkness

This storm was written in darkness

due to a power failure.

No one seems to know why power surges

or why lights dim and flicker out.

Electricity loses the will to live

in winter time.

Outside the storm moves

like a musician chasing notes

down the mountains with his silver flute.

Stars attempt meteor showers

against cloud cover.

Through my window

the wind bruises tree faces.

Throwing combinations heavyweight style

before the leaves have all fallen.

I believed I was safe

here inside the darkness.

Until I find the firelight

leaping in cadence

to the marching clouds.

Copyright © by Roger Patrick Ewing, all rights reserved.

Melting Snow

Melting snow lies hollow-eyed

and ill tempered.

Staring up at the sun.

How foolish was the snow?

To have wasted its precious life

waiting for winter.

Copyright © by Roger Patrick Ewing, all rights reserved.

Imagine a room full of people, and in that room there is a Victim and a Rescuer.  The two will find one another and hook up.

By Roger Ewing

Aniston and Schwimmer of TV's "Friends"

Drama is not inherently “bad”.  Drama is very entertaining; it’s just not a good means of managing ones life.  Here is a summary of what we have discovered about drama so far.

1.  At any given time, 60% of the adult population is involved in drama.

2.  Drama is both seductive and addictive.

3.  Drama does not get anyone what they want.

4.  The primary drama roles are Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor.

5.  The pivotal role in any drama is the Victim.

6.  Victims believe they have no options.

7.  Victims use specific limiting language that easily identifies them.

8.  Rescuing is all about the Rescuer, not the Victim,

9.  Persecutors empower Victims.

10.  Victims don’t really want to be rescued.

The relationship between each of our drama roles can be described as an inverted triangle, where the Victim takes the primary position of control.

Remember, while the roles in a silent movie are well defined, in real life drama the role of Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor are assigned by the other players in the drama.  Role reversal is a common occurrence and is important for the drama to gain traction.

If Victims don’t really want to be rescued, what do they want?

Victim’s involved in drama only want one thing from a Rescuer, support.  That’s it.  Simple, don’t over complicate the situation.  If you are involved in a drama situation you want to remove yourself from the triangle.

All Victims truly want is support.  Offer support, not solutions.

Here is a quality response to a drama Victim who is desperately seeking a Rescuer.  “I am here to help you in any way I can, tell me how to do that?”  Remember, Victims don’t view themselves as having options.  Therefore, Victims are incapable of making decisions.

By forcing a Victim to make a decision you are actively interfering with the drama process.

Victims will fight to stay engaged in the drama.  Regardless of how much the Victim may beg you, do not offer solutions.  Victims will make decisions if forced to do so and this is the only way you can achieve an effective solution to a dramatic situation.

Drama is an inherently immature response to life problems.  One of the best ways to view real life drama is to watch the behavior of young teenagers around the age of 13 or 14 years.  Their social interactions involve a lot of drama, “she said”, “he said”, “they said” is a typical conversation.  They live in drama nearly 100% of the time.  It’s almost as if the onset of puberty activates some sort of drama gene.

Mature adults, on the other hand, are interested in discovering how they can create and achieve goals, realize their dreams, and effectively manage their business and personal relationships.  This is mature thinking and is the basis for achieving self actualization.

It should come as no surprise that drama can be described by a very simple formula.

By Roger Ewing

Hollywood has known this formula for years.  One of the easiest means of observing drama is to see an old silent movie.

Here is a classic example of the roles involved in drama in the days of the silent movie.  The cast of characters includes our hero, a Canadian Mounty by the name of Dudley.  There is always a pretty girl who is desperately trying to save Grandma’s farm from foreclosure.  And of course, an evil villain named Snidely who wants to cheat Grandma out of the family farm.

The story follows the drama formula.  After a lot of dramatic activity, Snidely captures the pretty girl and ties her to the railroad tracks.  Dudley arrives at the last possible moment and defeats Snidely, saving Grandma’s farm and winning the pretty girl.  All is well in the end.

The silent movie is clearly an over simplification of real life drama.  However, it serves our purposes when analyzing the dysfunctional relationships we sometimes find ourselves in.  Here is a summary of the roles we encountered in our silent movie.

The Victim

Without a victim there can be no drama.

Therefore, victims are the most pivotal role in any drama.  It’s easy to spot Victims; they tend to use very specific language to describe their condition.  They often use limiting words, such as “always”, “forever”, “never”, “can’t”, “won’t”, “should”, “shouldn’t” and “couldn’t” among others.

Victims typically do not describe their situation as a problem, but rather refer to themselves as being in “trouble”.  Having a problem, implies there may be a solution.  Being in trouble, on the other hand, is a condition with no apparent solution.  Which leads us to our most important Victim quality and explains why Victims are rarely capable of making mature decisions.

Victims believe they have no options.

The Rescuer

The role of Rescuer is the most sought after role in drama.  This is because rescuers are individuals who get their feelings of positive self-esteem by attempting to rescue Victims. While this may seem very altruistic, the fact is it is a selfish role built on the Rescuer’s personal feelings of low self-esteem.  Rescuers feel great when they are doing what they do best,  rescuing.

Rescuing is all about the Rescuer, not the Victim.

The Persecutor

Very few people actively strive to be villains.  The Rescuer and the Victim usually assign this role to another party in the drama.  In fact, the Persecutor is a liquid role that flows freely among the drama players.

All of the roles in drama change and morph as each participant applies drama labels to each of the other players.  At any given time the Rescuer may feel like the Victim, the Victim may feel they are the Rescuer, and the Persecutor will take one position or the other.

All of this confusion creates an environment where positive accomplishments are not easily achieved.  Once we understand that Victims don’t really want to be rescued and that they need a Persecutor to validate their drama, the irony becomes clear.

The Persecutor empowers the Victim in drama.

Why does drama behavior continue when it clearly produces no desired results for the players? The answer lies in the fact that Victims and Rescuers are quite good at what they do.  Career Victims are very accomplished at their role. They really do want a Rescuer to attempt to rescue them and Rescuers really need a Victim to practice their rescuing skills on.  They are co-dependent upon one another and each gets satisfaction from the rescuing activity.  This explains why people stay in dysfunctional and damaging relationships.

The mystery is this.  How do we obtain positive results in our lives if others, who insist on living in drama, surround us and create an environment where little productivity occurs?  The answer is.

Don’t Attempt To Emotionally Rescue A Victim

An ancillary question might be, if I try really hard to rescue a Victim, won’t I realize a positive result?  One would like to think so.  However, the result of being a powerful Rescuer is the real possibility the Victim will turn on you and slap you with the Persecutor label.  Ever heard these words before?  “All I was trying to do was help and looked what they did to me.”

In Part 3 of this series, I will describe the best technique for interacting with others engaged in drama.  There is a creative way to defuse the drama triangle and actually bring about positive, mature, results in our business and personal relationships.

The Rainbow Repairman

For Mrs Alphabet

Who’s up early each and every morning

patching up holes

and fixing up old

used rainbows?

Buckets of paint filled with someday morning.

It’s hard to explain

but wishing for rain

brings rainbows.

The rainbow repairman

weaving the sky in his loom.

The rainbow repairman

chasing the blues

and turning the greens into dreams.

On a ladder long as time he’s working

painting the sky

with colors to dye

the rainbows.

Sitting on clouds and thinking out loud

each evening.

Colors were made

never to fade

on rainbows.

Copyright © 1979 by Roger Ewing and Larry Carlton, all rights reserved.

At any given time, as much as 60% of the adult population is involved in drama.

By Roger Ewing

When those around us act out in ways that are overly dramatic, the end result may very well be a problem in our business or our personal life.  By managing the potential for drama in our lives, we can bring dissatisfied parties to common ground, and constructive results to our business and personal relationships.

Drama is seductive and addictive.

Psychologists tell us that at any given time, as much as 60% of the adult population is involved in some dramatic situation. Garden-variety drama can be compelling and for those of us who naturally lean toward the dramatic, it can also be consuming.

In the past, the classic example of drama’s popularity was the success of televised soap operas.  But this source of traditional drama is now being eclipsed by real life drama played out on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter and cellphone texting.

We all experience drama at some time or another.  Drama could involve a serious life challenge,  or it may be a simple chain of events gone wrong that leads us toward feelings of despair. Causing us to ask ourselves, why me?  Recently, I experienced a simple morning drama that demonstrates what I mean.

I was headed for an important morning meeting and had difficulty finding the correct tie, shirt, jacket combination.  Once dressed, I headed for the kitchen and found I was out of coffee.  Feelings of frustration were building already and I hadn’t even left the house.

I stopped for coffee at Starbucks and, while getting back into my car, I spilled the coffee on my shirt and tie.  I head back home, more than frustrated.  Changed my clothes, with the usual decision difficulties, and got back into my car.

Entourage's Johnny Drama

Low on gas, I had to stop, and realizing I was late, I cranked up the fan on the air conditioning and made an incomplete stop at the corner.  You guessed it, ticket time.  Do I really have to go on?

My normal morning routine had been disrupted.  I was late for my meeting and speaking to a police officer about my driving habits.  How did I feel at this moment?  I felt I was a victim of some sort of bad karma experience.  Life was being seriously unfair to me.

Drama never gets anyone what they want.

The most important defense against dramatic situations is to actually identify that we are involved in a drama situation.  Sounds quite simple, unless you are the one that is struggling with the lousy cards life has dealt you at that particular moment.  Take a deep breath and observe the drama that is unfolding about you.  Recognize you have a role in your personal drama and understand that it is an immature feeling.  Snap yourself back to objective adult thinking.

We all know people who seem to live in drama nearly 24-7.  These people are constantly involved in emotionally charged situations.  When you take a close look, you begin to recognize this dramatic person is emotionally immature.  It is very difficult to achieve success and experience self realization while living in a constant state of drama.

Not that drama is a bad thing.  You just don’t want it to determine the course of your life. So, if you feel the need to escape reality and allow your inner child to play, go to the movies or log onto Facebook and soak in some entertainment.  Meanwhile, don’t allow drama to determine your role in life.

In part two of this three part series, I will describe the roles we play in drama and explain how each person, Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer participate to make sure the drama is a frothy and unproductive experience for everyone involved.

THE LAST SQUARE DANCE

The square dance at Shamrock was an affair of the heart.

Doomed to desertion.

Now creaking doors and blowing sand

sing country western at the Shamrock Club.

One last square dance for Carl.

When I first met Carl he was a different breed

a quarter-man

where a thoroughbred had been.

He said he punched a few cows as a boy

on a painted pony in Wyoming.

About fifty years as the crow flies

from the Shamrock Club.

But Carl died a western hero

among the towns square dance people.

One last square dance for Carl.

The Shamrock died when you did Carl

and the music you played

and the square dance.

It was just a country music affair.

Doomed to desertion.

Now weeping eyes and breaking hearts

sing the blues at the Shamrock Club.

“Carl Cody Held Over Due To Popular Demand”

The marquis is solid, etched in stone

with Carl’s name beneath the lights

and Carl’s golden voice and singing guitar

beneath the square dance.

One last square dance for Carl.

Copyright © 1980 by Roger Patrick Ewing, all rights reserved.

A great deal of debate is occurring online about how to measure ROI for social media marketing.

By Roger Ewing

Those of us who have spent lavishly on print media over the course of our business careers are empathetic towards our digital new-age friends who struggle to justify investing in social media.  This is particularly true now, given our recessionary cost control environment.

If the Tweeters, Bloggers and Diggers could measure the effectiveness of their social media platforms, would the management team finally stop harping about the amount of resources in time and money that are being applied to these strategies by the marketers?  Probably.  Consider this.

Only about 30% of traditional marketing has demonstrable ROI.

Then why did we spend all that money on traditional print media in the past if there is so little measurable result?  I, for one, did it primarily because my competitors were doing it.  And my competitors did it because I did, and so on. In the past, advertising wars involved keeping a body count of pages published in specific publications.  If my competitor was at ten pages, how could I not commit to at least eight pages to remain competitive?  It’s a lot like a legal battle where the lawyers get all the money, and the clients slowly go broke.

The marketing wars have begun anew, but this time the field of battle is digital.  There are several aspects of our battle strategy we will need to consider if we want our enterprises to prosper.  The first is, our old nemesis, print media.  Second is the awesome power of branding.  These two weapons combined with an intelligent social media platform, will conquer the competition in record time.

Sorry techies, print media is critical and necessary.  The marriage of print and digital marketing, when managed correctly, is the formula that produces spontaneous combustion.

There is a tipping point of web visits that is achieved, when targeted print campaigns support developing web based marketing strategies.

Traffic to your site needs to be substantial, if it is going to achieve traction and grow organically.  The quickest way to do that is to market your web site via traditional print vehicles targeted to your particular industry.

Branding has such awesome firepower that smaller entrepreneurs are often swept aside by the sheer magnitude of it.  Brands are the nuclear missile that atomizes the competition.  Look, you don’t have to be a genius to know what a well-known brand represents to the consumer.  Brand identity implies, “It may not be perfect, but at least I know what to expect”. Why else would you drive around a strange town searching for a Subway Restaurant at lunchtime?

The Internet has given entrepreneurs strange powers.  With a lot of SEO work and a very small investment, an enterprising young business can create brand awareness in a short period of time that rivals the larger brand labels.  In fact, there seems to be a group of consumers out there saying, “I like micro brands, they make me look hip and contemporary”.  Of course, a strategy built around the concept of pretentiousness won’t go very far if the product is not rock solid.

In practice, I don’t believe we can expect to know for sure what the actual result of our investment is in marketing.  However, we can directly measure our web traffic and extrapolate a return. Many sources of analytical information exist to measure the effectiveness of our internet marketing strategy.  Google Analytics is probably the most popular source of web traffic information.

Summary:

1.  Lay your hands on a sold brand name, or in the absence of a great brand, work really hard to create online brand awareness for your business.

2.  Spend judiciously on a print media campaign.  Advertise your brand and your web site in direct mail, newspapers, or anywhere else your target audience may see it.  Important rule: don’t do any advertising that is not memorable.  You are better off sending 100 post cards with a great design and a compelling message, than sending 1,000 that will not be read or appreciated.

Once you have achieved a critical mass of visits to your web site, you can begin to wean off the print media, slowly. Do so carefully, and only after Google Analytics demonstrates your number one source of web visits is the result of organic search engines.

Happy Hunting!

Migrations

In the meadows above timberline

little rivers flow

from melting snow on granite,

looking not unlike

the lights of town.

Only jets fly here

and trains of Canada geese

going home.

Silver wings turned gold

from the days setting sun.

Firing homeward through low pressure zones,

dancing

with each sweep of wings.

Slipstreaming

in perfect northern flight.

How the nights must linger on

for sleepy honkers and creaking jet liners.

Copyright © 1975 by Roger Patrick Ewing, all rights reserved.